Judge Boris lays down ‘the law’

I will have to start this week’s write up with a few rules and reminders. Some sides have still not paid their subs – these are way overdue fellas – please get this sorted asap. Sides playing in 7pm games MUST start on time so you need to be there ready to play at 7 o’clock sharp. 

 Players must be 15 years of age to take the field, no exceptions.  Players all must be wearing identical shirts to take the field. O.K – now for the fun stuff!

Butchers vs Blown Hoses

With pipes clear of any obstruction – The Hoses were ready to unleash some pressure onto their opponents. Jody ‘V.P’ McCall primed his troops well and led by example with 2 tries next to his name. Tom ‘The Bomb’ Brown, Cal ‘Mystic’ Kristic, ‘Jumpin’ Jai Martin, Brodie ‘Big Mac’ Donald and ‘Slim’ Tim Gibbons all made the try line, due to the fine example set by their commander.

The Butchers, not to be outdone, were looking sharp....medium to well done even. A layer of sweet and sour marinate was applied to the game and the following meaty results were dished up. Drew ‘The Skew’ Syme led the charge for his side with the young apprentice cleaving through to score 2 tries. Dave ‘Power’ Bauer and Brenton ‘Yes’ Noe both scored single tries. Final score was 8-4 to The Blown Hoses.

Fruit Bats vs Titans

There was an in-house survey done by The Fruit Bats recently with a team sheet revealing a staggering 384 years of combined experience running around! This particular stat possibly startled a few of the flock into staying in the cave this week as their numbers were few. Although the following flying mammals were onboard to swoop single tries – Reg ‘The Edge’ McIntosh, ‘Slick’ Nick Scanlan and ‘Mu’ Ty Hennessy.

The Titans were also in the same short staffed boat for the ensuing battle – but nevertheless  with swords, shields and kilts raised (ahem) the Titans screamed into action. Brent ‘Spent’ Townsend and Tom ‘Hates to Launder’ Maunder both jagged 2 tries. Eric ‘The Viking’ Maunder, Tony ‘Prongasaurus’ Spicer and Nathan ‘Go and show’ Owen all scored singles. Final score was 7-3 to The Titans.

Lounge Lizards vs Challenged

The night was still and the tension in the air was so thick that it could have been cut by some sort of night tension cutting device that would be used to cut tension at night when there actually wasn’t any tension. The men from The Challenged camp were surveying the scene as Liam ‘Yeah Boars’ McInnes, ‘Cocky’ Lachy Tullock and Cody ‘The Roadie’ Neill all performed well in difficult conditions. ‘I am’ Sam Dunmill was the only try scorer for the Challenged on this occasion. 

The Lounge Lizards came out with tongues lashing and tails whipping – the reptilian machine had both barrels cocked and aimed fire accordingly. A plethora of tries were the order of the day and Lachy ‘Pipes Jnr.’ Fleming headlined the menu with a blistering 4 try haul. ‘Show’ Beau Morecroft and Tom ‘It’s On’ Jeffries were next in line with 2 tries each for their troubles.  Next in line were ‘Slippery’ Cal Hobday, ‘Fryin’ Ryan Alexander and Tom ‘Aplomb’ Jobling with one try apiece. Final score was 11-1 to The Lounge Lizards.

Cutters vs Wrangers

Sometimes a man shows such commitment to his team that defy words – but alas – I will try. ‘Jimmy’ James Tweedy showed said commitment by turning up with a full days worth of refreshments under his belt. Jimmy was running like a man pissed – sorry, I mean a man possessed. Both sides revelled in his antics which then led to him setting up Matt ‘Howzat’ Bell for a nice meat pie. Ben ‘Crusher’ Smith followed suit and dove over the corner for a single, as did Casey ‘Bloodhound’ Herde.

The green machine were solid in their display of attacking prowess and flair that had the poor old Cutters in a bit of a spin. Bob ‘The Builder’ Tomkins led his troops by example and scored two ripping tries, as did the returned prodigal son of the Boars himself Callum ‘Skins’ Skinner who bagged 2. Singles came to ‘Shady’ Brady Martyn, Scotty ‘Harsh’ Marsh and Derrick Craigie. Final score was 7-3 to Wrangers.

Uppers vs Vic Legends

The Vic Legends had a look of gritty determination that would turn most oppositions to water. But it seemed in this case, it turned their opponents’ to beer! For the Vic, once again Andrew ‘The Goods’ Woods showed his team the way with 2 ripping tries scored, as did Andrew ‘Fleabane’ Mcpherson. 

But they were both outdone by ‘Angry’ Angus Croft who barraged his way to the try line 3 times. A brilliant effort with very little braves on deck.

The purple seismic unit that is called The Uppers was also on song for a beer, and a win was what they were working on over a cold tin or two – after all, they are only human! Chris ‘Groaty’ Groat, Hamish Wyllie ‘Coyote’, Jack ‘The Crack’ Thompson, Sam ‘Burgess’ Bursle, and ‘Up &’ Adam Bench all scored single tries. 

The other tries scored were a matter of young and old – with Hayden ‘Hussle’ Bussell and Luke ‘Fritta’ Fritz both scoring 2 tries each. Final score was 8-7 to The Uppers.

Five Star All Stars vs Dumpers – was a forfeit match with the win going to The All Stars.

Cheers! El Prezidente.

This week’s Games

7pmBye RefFruit Bats

Field 1 Challenged vs Vic LegendsField 2Lounge Lizards vs Blown HosesField 3Uppers vs Silhouettes

8.10pmBye RefButchers

Field 1 Dumpers vs Cutters`Field 25 Stars vs TitansField 3Wrangers  vs Casual Gods

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